This has been a hard year for so many people. Recent graduates, or the Covid class of 2020, have been hit hard with a pandemic and a difficult job market. As a result, many of these twenty something year olds have moved back in with their parents. I think read something that said that this many young people haven’t lived with their parents since the Great Depression. If this is you, you are certainly not alone.
I don’t know about you, but I pictured moving into an apartment with my friends after I graduated. I visualized the exact decor of my room, my workout schedule, how I would meal prep for the busy weeks, and of course having those unexpectedly wild nights in with the roommates. However, that did not go accordingly to plan. I am lucky if I work out once a week and I am back living in my childhood bedroom with my stuffed animals all lined up on my headboard. Bottom line, I did not expect to be living with my parents for this long.
If you, like me have also found yourself in this situation I am sure that you have some thoughts on it. Like why does my dad walk through my zoom call shirtless or why do I still have a curfew when I am an actual adult? The one that really gets me is why do I always have to share my whereabouts, I lived across the country for four years and went all sorts of places without notifying you. And the response, “since you are now under my roof it makes a difference” does not quite make sense to me.
In all seriousness it is the not being in control of my own life that I struggle with. The independence that I grew to love while I was going to school across the country from home is missing from my life and it is difficult. I am no longer a vegetarian because I do not want to be difficult when my parents make meals and I go to bed early because I do not want to be loud in the house after my parents have gone to bed. Adaptations have had to be made.
These are things that I have found myself annoyed by, but there are also so many benefits of having your parents for roommates. For starters, living with my parents is a major money saver. Wherever in the country you are, rent is not cheap. Having some meals paid for and prepared is also a great way to save money. Of course, I do try to do my part and cook every now and then, but it’s nothing compared to making every meals for myself every day.
Another major plus is how clean everything is. I loved living with my roommates in college but let me tell you, it was rarely clean. For a person with a bit of anxiety in icky environments, the cleanliness of home is amazing. I can cook in the kitchen without having to clean dishes beforehand and when I take my clothes out of my parent’s washer and dryer, my clothes actually smell clean.
Safety is another thing for me. As a girl who listens to countless hours of crime podcasts, I have developed a little bit of a fear of being kidnapped and killed. I rarely felt scared living with my roommates, but there were definitely those nights where I locked my bedroom door, convinced someone was going to come after us.
What I value most about living with my parents is the quality time. This year my dad had a bit of a health scare and it made me realize how important it is to not take the relationships with our parents for granted. You never know what will happen in the future, so I decided to be grateful for this seemingly extra time that I get to spend with them. Also, I have gotten to learn more about them and the rest of my family as well. I was able to watch my grandparents wedding video that I did not even know existed. I learned about my mom’s first jobs and the car accident she was in when she was younger. My dad let me read some of his poetry that he wrote when he was my age. I never would have known about these things if I had not been living here.
Parents may not make the “coolest” of friends, but in a time of such uncertainty in the world it can be comforting to have them by your side. If you really want to move out, in time I am sure that you will have that opportunity, or you may not even want to. Either way, it is important to be grateful for this time that you can share with your parents and the many benefits that living with them brings.
Navigating 22 & Beyond 